What You'll Find Here

I post daily (photos of my journal pages, things that inspire me and personal bits and pieces) to inspire and encourage others. I have always believed that if I can do it, so can you.

You'll find resources (my favorite supplies, books, slideshows of my art journal pages, favorite bloggers, etc...) listed along the right hand side of my blog.

I've been teaching both in person and online workshops for more than twenty years. You can find out more about my classes by scrolling down along the right hand side of my blog. I strive to make classes accessible to everyone (both beginner to advanced).

I love teaching and truly believe that deep down inside everyone is an artist, capable of creating something. There is power and knowledge in the act of creating something with your own hands, made from your own heart and head.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at EGorey99@sbcglobal.net

Thanks for stopping by!


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

15 May 2012 Journal Pages

It's so weird looking back at these pages that I did more than a month ago. It's like I'm stuck in some weird surreal fantasy that I keep expecting to wake up from. When I woke up this morning I didn't know where the hell I was for a minute. I know we'll get through all of this and I'm trying to take things bit by bit. 

We're all home now. We went back East for a week to say goodbye to my Dad as well as to help my Mom. I almost didn't go. It's not that I didn't love my Dad (I love him so much that every time I think about what happened my heart just aches) it's just that I didn't want to have to see him there (at the funeral home. I couldn't look at him in the casket. I asked Tristan if he was okay and the funny thing was that Tristan said, "I've seen him like that a lot." (meaning my Dad was big on taking naps and that it looked like he was sleeping.) but I just didn't want that to be my last memory of him. I'd rather my last memory of seeing my Dad was him driving away from TF Green Airport in Providence in January after dropping us off.) 

In the end, I'm glad that we decided to go back. I tried to keep busy the Saturday, Sunday and Monday before we left for home with my artwork. I finished up my latest online class (I poured my heart and soul into it. I had been working on it kind of hush hush for over a month already) and focused everything on that class. Working on art has always helped me and that class helped me immensely. 

Last Tuesday we left for Boston. The flight was long and I started a journal for my Dad which I'll be sharing here. It'll be a mix of photos, mementos and other things. I've only done the cover, inside cover and one page so far. I am hoping to unpack the suitcases and other stuff so I can sit on the living room floor, spread out my stuff and get to work in it. I know it will help me to process what's going on.

So now we're home in Los Angeles again. It's been a rough week yet at the same time being with family and friends helped. My husband and son have been amazing through everything giving me so much love and help. It helps knowing that I have family and friends to lean on when I need them. I love them so much.

Tristan and I will be back next month for two weeks. In between teaching classes and seeing friends and family, our goal is to get my mother packed up and moved out of their apartment in Braintree. It'll be a tough two weeks but it will be good to see family and friends as well as to be able to do what I love to do so much (teach classes and make art.) 

I'm keeping myself busy now getting ready for my summer classes. I have lists made and am getting things done bit by bit, day by day. I know it's all a process and I am not beating myself up over anything. I'll get through this, we all will. I just need to surround myself with what I love the most (family, friends, art, books, films, healthy food and long walks.) I'm also trying to take up what my Dad used to do which is to call family members. Some I will call daily, others every now and then. I want to keep everyone together and in touch just like he did even if it was just a quick two minute phone call to let them know that he was thinking of them and hoping they were well. Dad would've wanted us to do that.


Marcia said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kelly, it sounds as if you are facing up to the things that bereavement brings and this can only bring peace and acceptance, although sometimes the loss can get harder as you go along. I don't know whether you intend for the journal for your Dad to be private, but if not, if would be lovely to see it.Hope I have not said anything that upsets you.

Much love to you and your family. Karenxx

Kelly Kilmer said...

Thanks Marcia and Karen.

Karen, yes, I will post the pages here. I post all of my pages so these won't be any different. Thanks.

Kate Burroughs said...

Good for you, picking up the baton of your father's to call family members and friends. Keeping in touch with people is always good. Too many families fall apart when the "connector" passes away. Keep on keeping on. I promise you that the grief will go through its stages and then you will have all the good memories to sustain you.
Aloha, Kate

Sandy said...

So happy you all made it home safe. Great page and I'm sure the journal for your Dad will be great.