27 July 2015 Journal Page
Panama posted this comment on my post from yesterday:
"New Year's resolution. I want to do the same thing. Somewhere in the past several weeks I lost my way. I think it was because I got the flu. I stopped doing everything. Now the house is a mess. Do you create when you are not feeling well? Is there any excuse you can find for not creating? Or do you create no matter what? I think the stopping and starting has had it's effect on me. I did notice that looking at art supplies yesterday, wandering through Hobby Lobby, had an energizing affect on me. I have no daily routine. I think that also affects my creative time. Another New Year's resolution."
Thanks, Panama. First off, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I think that most of us end up beating ourselves up over them. I believe that there is always potential for change and growth and it can happen at any day or time and that we shouldn't beat ourselves up for slipping back into our old habits. I think that trying to be the best possible human beings that we can be always should count for something.
I hope that you are feeling better. If it makes you feel better, my house is a mess now, too. I am slowly trying to clean up (and clean out.) That said, I put my creativity first. If my journal is calling me, that's more important than cleaning my living room. If I want to lie in bed and read a book that inspires me and there are dishes in the sink, I'll do the dishes later tonight and pick up my book now. I'm in the middle of a self imposed vacation right now and yet I'm still working. It's hard not to berate ourselves but I do think that it is important to do what you feel is most important and if feeding your creativity is important to you, you will find a way to do it. Keeping a roof over head and food on the table is important to me but constantly cleaning said home (which is something I grew up with) is not. Keeping the space open for my art work is just as important and nourishing to my all around well being.
If I can't work in my journal, I try to be creative in other forms (looking at art, reading books, watching films, going for walks and looking for inspiration, start a conversation that is stimulating, etc...) That said, I try to make something on a regular basis as it is what works best for me. Ten minutes or ten hours, I do what I can, when I can.
If you look at everything you do as a creative act in some way, maybe it can lead you back to art making. There is inspiration everywhere and it can be found wandering aisles looking at art supplies or a crack in the sidewalk while out for a walk. Take some baby steps and pick up your pen, paint brush or scissors and just start by playing. Do it as much as you desire, ten minutes a day, an hour a week, whatever works best for you. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over it.
I hope that this helps and if not, feel free to pick my brain and ask more questions.