Books I'm Reading Right Now

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Writing to Heal the Soul; The Long Goodbye; Art and Healing



I've always been the kind of person who looks for answers in a book. That said, I don't necessarily think that books always have the answer but they usually push me in the right direction that I need at the moment. Right now I don't exactly know what the hell I'm looking for. 

I'm going to start A Tree Grows in Brooklyn this week. I've never read it nor have I seen the film. My Dad often said that it was "his story." I never asked what he meant and now it's time to see if I can figure out what he was talking about.

I'm more than halfway through The Long Goodbye. It didn't help me until I got to the part after her Mother dies and she starts talking about what she's going through. She uses the word yearning to describe her loss. That's exactly what I feel right now. I want to reach out to family and friends and talk about the past. I want the damn phone to ring and for it to be my Dad asking me for the umpteenth time, "What are you doing?" with the TV blaring in the background. I want another road trip to Colorado with my Dad. I don't want to say that I'm enjoying the book as they would totally be the wrong words in describing a book of this nature but that it is helping me to process certain things.

What's making me nuts is that with the abundance of journaling books out there, that the books on actually journaling grief are far and few between. I haven't read either of the above books but have flipped through them and have had them long enough in my library to hope that they will lead to something beneficial. I'm not religious. I don't want to hear about death in the light of "you'll see him again" or anything like that. I want to process what's going on in my life NOW to help me to heal. Dad's death was very sudden and unexpected. My whole family is feeling such a deep loss right now. I need to be able to process things the way that I do best by using my art journal. 

Wish me luck on my journey.

Comments

Cheryl said…
SARK wrote a book about grieving you might find helpful. Since she's so creative, I'm sure it will translate to art journaling.
Sandy said…
Good luck! I love A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I've read it twice. After reading it I found her other books to read. I'd love to read the story about her on Amazon but the last time I checked it was pricey.
Hang in there Kelly. It just takes a long time to adjust to loss. I am still going through it myself. It's hard and it will probably never be easy, but you will find your own way in dealing with it that works for you. All the best!
Kate Burroughs said…
I just recently read "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn." I really liked the story. Was your dad an immigrant or did he grow up in Brooklyn? Know that it will take at least a year to stop breaking down in tears at unexpected times. Grief is a process and don't feel like you have to be "healed" right away. I figure it just shows how much you loved him and he you. This too will pass. You will have a lot of great memories.
laurie said…
i read the book "a tree grows in brooklyn" when i was in seventh grade and a couple times since then. i love it and, because of that, never wanted to see the movie. my mom died almost ten years ago when she was only 56 years old. it gets easier but you will always miss your dad. that's just the way it is. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Krista said…
What about Natalie Goldberg, Kelly? I know she does grieve retreats with Joan Halifax, and neither of them are about sugar coating anything..Roshi Joan is a good person to follow on FB a very REAL soul.Just a thought for you..maybe you will write the book.
Susie said…
Kelly, I just read this post and totally understand...a sudden shift in our world often creates a vast void that remains unfillable and to me that is as it should be...a deep and strong love should never be replaced...that love will remain..that is what is permanent and true...what seems a void is actually a mirror reflection of everything you and your Dad and family did together...you can reach in and claim every moment, and as every sweet and wonderful moment is remembered there are the hard and sad memories too...your loss is gonna hurt for awhile..maybe a long while, that's your Dad hugging you hard and whispering to you...reminding you of his love...you clearly had a strong bond with your Dad and it's just going to take a lot of time to heal...you will...You're probably sick of hearing that...you'd rather have your Dad back...but you're clearly surrounded by friends and family who will listen, a soft place to be, or maybe just a wee bit angry when that has to be released...take all the time you need to heal...that is all you gotta know right now..whatever that is, it's enough.....hugs
xxoo
Bryony said…
Kelly, I just wanted to send out my love to you. I took your class last year in the Fort. My mom and I were/are trying to recreate our lives without my sister Chelsea. I would also suggest SARK's book; it has been very helpful. I also just picked up "Tolstoy and the Year of Magical Reading," which has many wonderful/helpful lines and stories. Here's to you and your wonderful father, Bryony
Kelly Kilmer said…
Thank you everyone for your very, very kind and heartfelt words.
For those of you who recommended books to me, I am looking into all of them. THANK YOU so very much. I will report back to my blog with the ones that I've found to be most useful for me.
Big hugs and huge thanks,
kelly

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