19 December 2009 journal page
Some people post their New Years Resolutions on their blog, etc... doing big long intricate posts about this and that. I'm not that kind of a gal. I'm not one for New Years Resolutions 'cause I know that most of them are broken and broken quickly. I am, however, one who is interested in resolving to do something and trying my damndest to stick to it, but not making that resolution on January 1st. (Are you still with me?)Here's what I'm pondering...Learning to let go. How do you let things go? Suggestions? Advice? Comments? I'd love to hear it. It's one of my biggest downfalls. I am one who does forgive. I am also one to forget. Yet, when I've been hurt and hurt bad or I feel that I (or someone else) have been wronged, I hold onto it. When someone makes a comment or says something snarky and mean, I hold onto it.
How do you let it go??
Comments
Just kidding.
Oh I know one more - it only bothers me if I care about the person thus rule number one.
Mindy has a good point. Quite like Byron Katie in terms of its their business for thinking or doing this things. That they have issues and not you.
My therapist would state that it's a matter of boundaries. If you let someone into your bubble, they will affect you as they please.
Take all of this with a grain of salt as this is my experience and I'm unsure of all your details which might not be the same situation.
One way to deal with it is to say to yourself that you'll worry/think about it tomorrow and give a certain time like 9:58 AM. By then, you might have forgotten.
Janey
Probably survive something pretty tragic and get old. That will help. No, even though both of those do help, here's the deal. You have to go to a place where you can accept that what happened can't be done over. You can position yourself sometimes not to be in the path of the problem causer, but most important, you have to tell yourself, that the offender has already taken enough from you, time, emotions, etc. So, move on and do not allow him or her to consume any more of your thoughts, time, emotional resources, etc. It's like being robbed and then walking off and leaving your door open. Shut the door. Move on to positive things. Every minute spent thinking about who did you wrong or hurt you or whatever, is another minute gone from a very short life that you will never get back. Sorry to sound like the mom, but, oh wait, I am your (art) mom. If that doesn't work, email me, and I will get Edna on it. She hasn't failed us yet, has she? I dump all my crap in her lap, and she and her frog do the magic. Got it?
Love ya,
Art Mom
let time take care of this, too.
sometimes that's all it is
hugs!
Great pages!! Here's one quote that for whatever reason always makes me feel better (forwarded to me from a friend when I was having similar difficulties):
"The slander of some people is as great a recommendation as the praise of others." - Fielding
(In other words, do you really value their opinion anyway?)
One more good one I found:
"Slander meets no regard from noble minds; only the base believe what the base only utter." - John Bellers
Persevere and do the right thing. You are better than that...(and their probably jealous anyways):)
Hope this helps!! Rock on girlfriend!!
Sometimes, if I really can't let it go, I sit down and write every venomous thought I have about them and say all the mean nasty horrible things that my 8-year-old self wants to say to them. Then I put it aside.
Just some thoughts.