Ah, it's one of those days when I don't have much to say, for fear of 'saying too much', 'spouting off', etc.. and getting into MAJOR, big time trouble. *sigh*
It's one of those days when I feel like I'm back in High School again and am not one of the "popular girls". Don't get me wrong, I *love* my job. I *love* being an artist/instructor. I'm *extremely* grateful for it. I *do* get very upset, though, when I feel that I am in High School and am having to "compete" and "play games" (which: a. I never did and b. never WILL do). I had someone tell me something recently that has stuck in my mind since they told me: that people had to "take sides" when it came down to me..Me vs. Someone Else. People taking MY classes vs. people taking "Person X's" classes...WHAT? Hello? Is this friggin' high school? I've plugged people-people I didn't even personally "liked" but that I love their art and have known them to be good instructors...and artists. So for something like this to come back to me and then to have it reflected in the "games that people play" and whether or not I get accepted to teach somewhere is ridiculous. Grow up, ok?? Grow the frig UP. There IS enough room for GOOD instructors. There is NOT enough room for game playing, high school cheerleader crap, OK?
And no, I do not have my period, thank you very much. I'm just feeling annoyed, hurt and completely lost, and sadly, "not good enough" even when after almost 9 (?) years of doing this, I *should* know better.
Ah, the games people play...and I don't want to play them. Ever.

Comments

Amber said…
Keep your chin up... there are plenty of opportunities out there. I don't know the full story but I can say that I too am not a game player... don't let it get you down.
Anne said…
Dearest dearest Kelly - don't ever ever ever let anyone steal your joy. If you let ugliness like that in your life you let 'them' win. Get out some of your gorgeous artwork and get lost in the beauty of it and let it fill your soul so there will be no room for petty hurtful barbs to get to you.
Extra special hugs for you today :)))
Anonymous said…
I can so totally relate to this post and it does kill you inside. Because of all the things that make you your wonderful YOU, this stuff is ultrasensitive and high impact. Distance yourself when you can and just try to stay true to your own self. That's what counts in the long run. I think you and your art rock and oh how I wish I were closer. I'd be in ALL your classes!!!!
Anonymous said…
drama drama drama!

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