It's almost midnight. This isn't the post I was going to write, but it is what it is.

My Aunt died today. She was only 50. She had a heart attack and died at the hospital. The same damn hospital that my Grandmother also died at, too young, of cancer. She leaves behind her husband, John and their daughter (my 17 year old cousin) Andrea. Joni leaves behind her sister (my Mother), Jane and her brother, Uncle Jack. She left behind a lot of things. No chance for make-ups of all of the crap over the last few years. No chance for good byes. The last time we saw her was the day after my sister's wedding in October. She called me, I think, one or two other times after that. We never talked about what happened between Erin's wedding and the months after that. My Mom and Aunt didn't speak after what happened. Mom waited for Joni to call her. Joni didn't call. Now everyone is regretting what was and what wasn't said and done. Fights in families suck. Disagreements and bullshit about money suck. Dying sucks. You can't take it with you in the end, that's the bottom line. You can't. You leave behind sadness. You leave behind regret. You leave behind a lot of baggage. I want to toss those goddamn bags into the frigging marsh behind Grandpa's house. I'm not even sure if Grandpa's house is there anymore.

Joni, we love you. We miss you. I wish you were going to be here to see Andrea graduate from high school next year. She needs her Mom. I wish you were here so we could yell at you about all of the crap. So I could smack some sense into you. So my Mom would stop calling me crying and my heart breaking and heavy every time the phone rings and it's her asking what she should do. I want to make everything right, but I can't.

I can't. We all tried over the years to do what was right...now I'm not sure what matters. I'm heavy hearted. Forget about who did what. Pick up the damn phone and call. Don't want to call? Write a letter. Even if the person doesn't respond at least you tried to reach out...

Rest in Peace, Joni. We love you and miss you lots.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh Kelly... I am so so sorry that you and your family have to endure such a loss. Please know my thoughts are with you. Hugs... B
Anonymous said…
Hi Kelly,

So sorry for your loss.

Try to focus on the good times with your Aunt and family. That is what should be remembered.

Hugs,
Roberta S.
lklight said…
OK Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss.
Judy Wise said…
Thinking of you Kelly. I am sorry.
moi said…
Sorry to hear about this immense loss Kelly. There seems to have been a lot of sadness shared lately. I hope you and your whole family find the strength to survive her loss. Thinking and praying for you.
crimsoncat05 said…
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Aunt... I'm thinking of you and your family.
Kelly Kilmer said…
Thank you Becky, Roberta, Leighanna, Judy, Tina, crimsoncat-and all of you for everything. I really do appreciate it.
Anonymous said…
Oh Kelly, I too am so sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family during this time of grief. I'm glad you blogged about it. There is a saying that goes "Joy shared is doubled, grief shared is halved." I agree that we should make amends before it is too late but I also believe that your aunt knows how you feel now. I hope your mom can give her self the gift of forgiveness.
Anonymous said…
Kelly- I am so sorry to hear about your aunt.
Anonymous said…
Oh, Kelly, you're right. Dieing simply sucks. I am so sorry for our loss.
Oh Kelly... my heart is heavy right along with yours, because, you see, this situation is bound to be the one that I will experience myself someday. Death sucks for those left behind, because there is always a mess, no matter how much you try to clean up ahead of time. Death is like a thief in the night...

Hugs,
Adriane

http://www.onesundayafternoon.blogspot.com
http://www.onesundayafternoon.com
BellaKarma said…
Kelly, I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. My heart and thoughts are with you.
katie said…
i'm so sorry for your loss, kelly, how sad for you all. yes, the family grudge, dissagreements that cause these rifts are so sad...we've experienced them in our family too.
rscoach said…
Kelly - I'm so sorry to hear of your aunt's passing - so young - it's never easy - I loved what you said about just pick up the phone or write a letter - don't stand on principle - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family - Reva S.
Anonymous said…
Chuck and I are thinking of you and the family. We're so sorry for the loss of your dear Aunt Joni.

Linda

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