Home.


David came home yesterday afternoon. I don't even know where to begin with the story. In a nutshell, he has started on his path to recovery. They removed his kidney, ureter and part of his bladder. He's not in the excruciating, intense pain that he was in for several days at the hospital but he is still in pain especially if he moves. 

It's very difficult to get much rest in a hospital. My heart goes out to the patients, the advocates and the hospital staff who go through this on a daily basis. We had a few things happen to us while we were in the hospital that I don't want to get into here nor do we want to relive them (we spoke with the Charge Nurse and we will be writing a follow-up letter to the hospital praising the nurses who did it right and encouraging that they look into some things that need to be changed.) 

David and I were talking last night and it can be difficult being in a hospital where you feel that you are reduced to being just a body, you don't feel like a human being. That's why we appreciated the doctors, nurses and nursing assistants who went above and beyond their job to make sure that my husband was comfortable and well taken care of. They are the ones who did a damn good job and who we want to remember and thank.

We are grateful because while the urologist did find cancer (there was a tumor on the outside of his kidney), the Doctor said that they were able to get all of it. They will keep a regular watch on him with follow up appointments every six months (though he has quite a few upcoming doctor's appointments this week.) He will have another surgery down the road on his prostate. We are not sure what that will entail as the Doctor says we will worry about one thing at a time and that his body needs time to heal right now. We are trying not to think about it. Three hospital stays in six months are already three stays too many.

This is the first day that I've felt a little more me. I hadn't had a full night's sleep since before the surgery and while I didn't sleep well last night, I slept much better and am extremely thankful for it. A lack of sleep, fear and being an advocate does something not only to your body but also to your brain. David and I will be spending the next couple of days (before his first doctor's appointment this month) at home trying to make sure that he gets the rest that he needs and that I get a little bit of rest but also some art time to keep me sane. 

I am extremely grateful to my friend, Suzi Babbin Finer (yes, that Suzi Finer from the Beverly Hills store that I miss so much) for starting a GoFundMe page. I have always been extremely uncomfortable asking for help. I've been under a lot of stress for the past six months trying to keep a roof over our head, food on the table all while I take care of David. I appreciate my family, friends, students and strangers who reached out to help. I can't even put the feelings I have into words. My body and mind feel better and I am not stressed out about how we are going to get by. I don't know the GoFundMe etiquette yet and how to go about saying thank you but as soon as I can figure it out, you know I will be doing so. So until then, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I might disappear for a couple of days again to recoup. The last few hours haven't been perfect (David is still in pain but nothing like he was at the hospital) but they have been better and they are going to get better. I'm also thankful to have access to real food (the food at the hospital this past week was the stuff of nightmares for both David and I), my own bed and quiet. It is good to be home.  

Comments

Marylinn Kelly said…
So glad to know you're home. It is nightmarish for patient and advocate. I have been both. Quiet, for me, is always a reliable source of healing and restoration. Sending bunches of artist/sister/movie geek/warrior advocate love. xoxo
Nancy said…
May your and David get the rest you both need for him to heal and you to gather back you physical and mental strength. Peace be with you both.
Barb said…
Kelly, I am so glad to hear that David came through the surgery, and that things are looking up. I've been so worried, and was on the verge of emailing you, but didn't want to bother you. Your family has been through so much. Sending love and hugs and prayers. Barb Murphy/Queens Ink in MD
Anonymous said…
Glad everyone is home. Hope you are able to rest and David's recovery is a smooth sail. Xxoo, T
Anonymous said…
All I can do is wish him a speedy recovery and hope that someone listens.
Anonymous said…
All I can do is wish him a speedy recovery and hope that someone listens.
Kate Burroughs said…
Hoping that David continues to heal and you all recover from his surgery. It is so hard to have to go through this kind of thing. You just have to keep putting one foot after the other to get from what was to what will be.
Barb said…
Kelly,
Your husband and yourself have been through a hard time. I think of you often and hope that things improve daily. Hospital experiences are not the best even for minor problems, let alone, serious conditions. I completely understand because I worked in a hospital system for 19 years before retiring.
I know that your husband will improve each day. You and he have been strong through this illness. Take time to relax and spend quiet and calming time together in the next couple of weeks.
Barb J.
North Carolina
Gina said…
My heart goes out to you and your David. I have been there with health problems with my own David: daily pain, surgeries, hospitalization,etc. Will keep you and your David in my thoughts and healing wishes!
Mikki said…
So very happy to hear that David is back home and recovering well, Kelly. I know all too well the stress, exhaustion, worry, frustration and gratitude (and a long list of other feelings) that comes with having a very sick husband. I have been keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers and wish you all the very best. Take good care of you, Kelly... it's the best gift you can give your family. Sending love.
tgarrett said…
Oh Kelly I am so so sorry this brought me to tears. I Have experienced the emotions you're are going through when my husband had cancer surgery- Please know I am sending love your way that I know doesn't pay the hospital bills but I will see what I can do.
You are such a wonderful giving talented artist and have meant more to me than you may know. So glad it is somewhat positive news for David. You have a journey ahead together. Please know you ar eloved.
Sending love and healing thoughts to you both. Kathy
Lynda Shoup said…
Always thinking of you. Sending healing thoughts/prayers/vibes.

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